Tales From The High Chair #4
|April 22, 2012||Posted by Jenn under Uncategorized|
Have I got a special treat for you, today!
Nora Weston, author of The Twelfth Paladin, and a very good friend is here today to share with us her own tale of motherhood.
It’s awesome so get ready!
Nora Weston is almostsanelady because…
In seven years, I had the incredible experience of making five people. Yes! I was literally a people manufacturer. Then, seven years later, one more person, my sweetheart—Aaron was born. Tales from the highchair? How about nightmares from the highchair? I’d do it all again, raising my wonderful clan, but the things kids can do! Those things are now my best memories of motherhood, yet once upon a time…chaos ruled.
For instance, take the time I awoke to find Ken (Barbie’s boyfriend) crammed head down into the toilet. Mysteriously, Ken jumped into the swimming pool all by himself. Water was everywhere! His shorts were floating, along with Barbie’s pink shoes, purse, and other victims of circumstance, like a few toy soldiers and my husband’s favorite black tie. A handful of various types of makeup were present too, because—of course, the guests needed to have rafts. Sad to say, he had drowned (Ken, not my hubby) and it was a horrible death, although retrieving him ended with a headless doll. That meant Ken’s head was stuck, and it would not budge. Hours later, the head was finally rescued, although it looked deformed. Completely beside herself to see Ken looking so monstrous, my daughter admitted to creating the pool party in the toilet. Ken was never to be seen again! What a mess…
Who’d think brushing teeth could get a kid into trouble? One of my sons…who shall remain nameless, was doing just that and ran downstairs to answer the phone. He continued to have a conversation with his buddy, finished brushing, grabbed his basketball, and met his friend outside. It seemed like an ordinary day. The other kids were playing, the sun was shining, and I even had the laundry all caught up, which was practically a miracle. Drip. Drip…drop. Yep, water started dripping, and then running out from the kitchen ceiling light. It splashed onto the kitchen table. “OH, no, no, no!” I ran upstairs, hoping against all hope that I was wrong, yet there it was. The bathroom was flooded. Well, the bathroom floor eventually warped, the kitchen ceiling was damaged, and since the home was older, no paint existed to repaint after the repair. The entire ceiling downstairs had to be repainted. Yeah, that was a fun day.
Another marvelous day happened when my daughter’s ferret got stuck in my husband’s coveted stereo speakers, but I’m not sure if that day was as bad as the day the kids took Kraft American cheese and stuck a bunch of slices on my dining room wall to make a gorgeous quilt pattern. The oily remains from the cheese soaked clear through to the dry wall so that section of the wall had to be replaced.
My youngest daughter, who is too cute for words, was not so cute the night she emptied a full bottle of syrup all over the downstairs. You’d be surprised how many things one bottle of syrup can cover! Raw eggs found under furniture, permanent markers used for wall murals, lipstick found in the strangest places, soda cans exploding in the back of our SUV, magic markers in the dryer, (gasp!) and lots of other gooey and sticky things have made sure I do, indeed, know the meaning of patience!
Were those times tough? Yes, just a bit, but what’s really tough is seeing my kids almost grown up. I know that is what they’re supposed to do, but still…
Okay, so kids do the strangest things, but teenagers? Holy cows in Iowa. I swear—I was never a teenager. Pray, everyone just pray Nora can survive the next decade!
Thank you so much for stopping by Nora and I will DEFINITELY be praying for you…and I ask you all, for a moment of silence in honor of the dearly departed (decapitated) Ken that became a causality of the pool party.
I heart the hell outta you, Nora!
And you guys should totally check her out, too!