Tales From The HighChair #2
|March 25, 2012||Posted by Jenn under Uncategorized|
After last weeks post, I sent a shout out to fellow mommies for guest posts on this subject.
I thought it would be fun to read what my peeps have encountered during their years of mommyhood.
I wanted to post them sooner than today but my internet has been down ALL week and actually still is.
Right now, I’m blogging from an undisclosed location just for this post (and to write others for the week cause who the hell knows when I’ll get my net back).
Today’s post comes from the lovable FISHDUCKY!!!!
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY ADORABLE
An alternate, but equally appropriate, title to this could have been MY CHILDREN HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PERFECT, AND OTHER FAIRY TALES.
In the olden days, when parents felt safe in letting their very young children walk to school & back alone, my parents were babysitting our 7 or 8 year old daughter while we were on a trip. They became quite worried when one day she was over a half hour late in getting home from school. When she finally got home, they asked her why she was so late. Our daughter, who always had a very logical brain, told them she had taken a “long” cut.
No subject was ever off limits at our dinner table. Once Our daughter asked what a homosexual was. We weren’t sure how to explain this to an 8 year old. We told her that while most men love women, there were some men who loved other men. We said this was the way God made them & it was fine. We asked her if she understood & she said, “Yeah—you mean like a lesbian, only a man!”
And let us not forget her dating years, which went reasonably smoothly, except for one very frightening incident. She must have been about 16 or 17 when she went out with this boy on their first–& LAST—date! She was usually home by midnight or so. She wasn’t home by midnight. Or 1:00. Or 2:00. Or 3:00. I couldn’t sleep so I was listening to the news. They reported, over & over, that there had been a fiery crash on a freeway & an unidentified young couple had burned to death. I called the police, hospitals & even the morgue, to no avail. About 6:00 am, I remembered that they had been introduced by a mutual friend. I called & woke him, explained the situation & got her date’s home phone number. I called & woke his mother, who said that the kids were there, they were fine & that they had come to his home to watch TV & had fallen asleep on the couch. She said they were so cute she didn’t want to wake them. DIDN’T THIS WOMAN REALIZE THAT She HAD A MOTHER & FATHER WHO MIGHT BE JUST THE TINIEST BIT CONCERNED ABOUT THEIR DAUGHTER???!!!
Our son, Matt, hated to take showers when he was young. He would often turn on the shower & sit in the bathroom for a while & then come out bone dry & just as dirty as when he went in. Once, I made sure he actually got in the shower, which must have made him angry, because when I went into the bathroom to straighten up I found he had written the “F” word on the steamed up mirror. He tried to, anyway. He had put an “e” on the end. FUCKE. It looked like Shakespeare was swearing. My problem, as a loving & helpful mother, was to decide which was more important—telling him not to use that kind of language or correcting his spelling?
And then there’s sweet, even tempered Blake. We got a call from the elementary school once that we would have to come & get him & take him to the ER. It seems that he got mad at another boy & tried to punch him in the stomach. He missed. He got him in the belt buckle instead & broke his knuckle. And then there was the time the school called because he had hurt himself falling UP the stairs. Yes, I said UP.
Erma Bombeck once said, “Grandchildren are God’s reward for letting your own children live.” I think she was right. I was staying at my daughter’s house to help out while she had her second baby. Mara, my then 2 year old granddaughter, was attached to me like Velcro. She even ate all her meals while sitting on my lap. I tried to explain to her that I couldn’t stay forever, that I had my own house to take care of & that her grandpa needed me, too. I asked her if she understood that I would have to leave soon. She hugged me & in a sweet, loving, singsong voice, said, “Yes—but not todaaaaaay!”
Hang in there, it gets better—-fishducky